I’m Free Now!

If The Son Shall Set You Free, You Shall Be Free Indeed!

Archive for September, 2008

I Can’t Love

Posted by imfreenow on September 30, 2008

Along with the theme of the book, “Our Eyes Fixed On Jesus,” I am involved in seeking God earnestly each day to rid my heart of its mercilessness. I am helpless to truly love. I am helpless to forgive those who have denied the power of God, including my father, who closed his heart to the power of the Holy Spirit and denied all of us the benefits that would have brought. And that includes forgiving others who have denied the power of the Holy Spirit – Joni Eareckson Tada, who preaches waiting to see the power of God in the next life instead of seeing God’s power here on earth, and other people who have not truly opened their hearts to believing God for their healing, such as the lady my mom regularly sees and helps who is handicapped, and other people in my parents’ circles.

The only thing I know to do is go to God through the sacrament of communion. Everything that God has given us comes through Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross, which can be appropriated through the symbolism of communion. I take the body and the blood and come to Christ in my helplessness, asking Him to cleanse me of my sin and give me power over my sin. The communion prayer that I use is found here.

My dad suffers from pain in his right arm due to having had shingles. I thought it was strange, but not surprising that I developed pain in my right arm as well, due to some freak problem that has developed in the muscles and tendons around the socket. I felt this was a consequence of my mercilessness towards him that I know exists. This affliction drove me to realize that I must seek repentance and deliverance from my sin. When I am delivered from my sin I know that I will be released from my affliction. Who knows if I will experience other healing as well, since lately, manic-depression has been acting up?


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War And Worship

Posted by imfreenow on September 29, 2008

Chapter 5 in “Our Eyes Fixed On Jesus”
Chevreau talks about dependence upon the Lord in fighting our battles against evil, sin, darkness. Isaiah, he says, repeatedly warns against those who “rely upon horses, who put their trust in chariots…but do not look to the Holy One of Israel.” The prophet is insistent: the people of God must attend to a warfare of worship: “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength.” Similarly, the psalmist declares that it is the Lord who “puts an end to war; he breaks the bow, he snaps the spear, he burns the shield in the fire.” God’s people are very clearly recruited in the fight, but the marching orders are other worldly: “be still and know that I am God.”

“The battle is the Lord’s.”

“This is the word of the Lord to you: Do not fear or be dismayed by this great horde, for the battle is in God’s hands, not yours. Go down to engage them tomorrow…{but}it is not you who will fight this battle; stand firm and wait and you will see the deliverance worked by the Lord for you.”

I am involved in helplessly seeking the Lord to truly love my father. I feel that I do not really love him from the heart but that I cannot truly love him in myself, so I am going to God using communion to cleanse my heart and asking for the power to be rid of the sin of lack of mercy towards my father. I am coming in helplessness to God, asking for His power. This is what pleases God. We rely completely on God.

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Our Eyes Fixed On Jesus

Posted by imfreenow on September 29, 2008

a sideways look at spiritual warfare by Guy Chevreau

The second phrase of this book’s title, “a sideways look at spiritual warfare,” is a recognition that we should give only peripheral consideration to Satan and spiritual warfare. The prince of darkness and his works must never have our front and centre attention. As men and women of faith, it is never ours to show more concern, interest or effort fighting the devil than worshipping and serving our Risen Lord….

This book is more an exposition of Christology than demonology, and more about our position and authority in Christ than the nature and strategies of the demonic hosts that rage against us.

It is my hope and prayer that it serves to bring you, my brothers and sisters, to a place of glorious freedom and confident authority, in the knowledge that though we live in the midst of a very real conflict, we’re not the ones at risk.

“In my early years as a preacher, I would spend countless hours praying for the demonized to be set free. I would ask the demons their names, yell, fight and cast them out, often long into the night. Most of those I prayed for were set free, but I was left exhausted! Guy’s book shows another way: authority through intimacy with God and the power of love. The closer we are to our all-powerful King, the easier deliverance is. We will always win through love. Thank God for His victory over the powers of darkness, and for Guy’s book.” —Heidi Baker, Director, Iris Ministries

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Mall Diva’s Haircut

Posted by imfreenow on September 28, 2008

Mall Dvia (Faith) challenged me to go all the way and really get my hair cut! She suggested a wedge and I told her I had had lots of wedges in my time but I decided to go for it. She thought it suited my face and hair type.

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Correspondence With Wang Yang

Posted by imfreenow on September 28, 2008

Letter to Wang Yang:

Sorry I didn’t say much during the Olympics. The week they got started, we had relatives visiting, so we didn’t watch them much. I saw only a little bit of the opening ceremony.

I did watch the closing ceremony. It was spectacular! The government of China put a lot into that!

Hope you are doing well!


Letter From Wang Yang:

Hi! Gabrielle,

The Beijing Olympic Games cost China billions of dollars indeed.

Almost all Chinese people regard this a successful pageant.

I like the theme of this Olympic Games, “One world, One dream”

Yesterday, Chinese astronauts achieved the first spacewalk.

China is showing its power to the world as a big country just like the USA.

But China will always be peace and friedly instead of threatening to any country.

We want to understand each other and make friends with other nations.

Best regards

Wang Yang

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Paul Newman: A Success Story

Posted by imfreenow on September 28, 2008

Paul Newman is a rare story of a man who lived a rather whole life, with a committed relationship for life to one woman, family, and an interest in generous giving. Stories and videos on him here. I would be interested to know more about the depths of his life and faith.

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McCain Says Obama ‘Doesn’t Understand’

Posted by imfreenow on September 28, 2008

many times in the debate on Friday, September 26th. McCain shone out and stood strong. Obama seemed flustered and didn’t do very well. See debate coverage here. I am reminded that Obama scares the crap out of me, when I think of him being at the helm. McCain’s experience and intelligence come to the surface.

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Attacks on WTC

Posted by imfreenow on September 26, 2008

More footage of the actual attacks on the world trade center by British television.

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New Yorkers Mark 7th Anniversary Of WTC Attacks

Posted by imfreenow on September 26, 2008

Looks like there are more videos to be found on 9/11 memorials.

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Wisdom of Bill Gates: Not!

Posted by imfreenow on September 25, 2008

Looks like the email being circulated, that my sister sent me is not actually coming from Bill Gates, according to Snopes. It’s actually written by Charles J. Sykes, acc. to Snopes. Thanks Bike, for pointing this out.

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Understanding the Times, 2008

Posted by imfreenow on September 23, 2008

This conference is held at Grace Church of Eden Prairie, Minneapolis, MN, Sptember 26 & 27.Don’t forget Nonie Darwish is speaking at this event.

Conference Schedule

Friday, September 26
7:00 PM Welcome, Invocation: Eric Douma, Olive Tree Ministries
7:10 PM Bill Koenig: “A White House Biblical Role in the Middle East & the
8:10 PM Jan Markell: Announcements & Offering
8:30 PM Dr. David Reagan: “The Importance of Bible Prophecy”
9:30 PM Close of evening session

All exhibits are open until 10:15 PM. Please purchase luncheon tickets as we have reserved 1,000 that we must sell. You can also shop or sign up for CDs and DVDs of this event.

Saturday, September 27
7:30 AM Doors open for shopping
8:00 AM David Wheaton airs his program “Christian Worldview” from the
conference platform.
9:00 AM Welcome, Invocation: Eric Douma, Olive Tree Ministries
9:10 AM Dr. David Reagan: “We are Living on Borrowed Time”
9:50 AM Nonie Darwish: “My Journey: From Bondage (Islam) to Grace”
10:30 AM Jan Markell: Announcements & Offering
10:50 AM Break
11:20 AM Mike Gendron: “Apostasy: Setting the Stage for One World Religion”
12:00 Lunch break. You may bring your own, purchase a $5 ticket for a meal
prepared by Grace Church, or eat out. Lunch tickets must be
purchased Friday night or Saturday morning. The Divine Grind offers
seating as well as all of the outer foyer area, or outdoors. Save some
time for shopping and/or ordering of conference CDs and DVDs
(which will not be ready for at least 3 weeks.)

Saturday Afternoon
1:30 PM Bill Koenig: “America’s Destiny: Where We Are and Where We Are
Headed as a Nation”
2:10 PM Nonie Darwish: “The Next Moves of Radical Islam”
2:50 PM Final announcements
3:00 PM Break
3:30 PM Mike Gendron: “The Death of Discernment and its Consequences”
4:10 PM Panel/Q & A
4:50 PM Close

Exhibits are open until 5:30 PM. You can also sign up for conference CDs and DVDs but allow a minimum of 3 weeks for delivery. You can order by phone using Visa, MasterCard, or Discover by calling 763-493-3010 or 763-210-8291. They will also be offered in our next print newsletter, “Understanding the Times,” and on our Web site when they are finished. Sign up for our e-alerts in this bulletin or on our Web site, http://www.olivetreeviews.org, and be kept apprised of their status by e-mail.

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Help! Looks Like I’m In Trouble!

Posted by imfreenow on September 23, 2008

Last night I couldn’t sleep at all until I took 500 milligrams of Seroquel. It was actually 525mg.

I didn’t sleep it off, falling asleep at around 4:30, and I’m groggy today. Am just searching for God’s healing in my life – will not back down – will not give up.

My doctor took me off the Risperdal that I was taking – 1.5 milligrams. It seems that maybe I’m going through some kind of withdrawal. I think I needed to be weaned off it.

I am speaking over my body in Jesus name and using the word of God. I am speaking over my mind that the dependence on Risperdal is broken. Am claiming victory over Satan in this and realize it may just be a smokescreen from the devil, trying to make me worried.

Advice from people: don’t get wigged out over losing sleep. Just try to weather it and not worry, and don’t take all those meds.

I also don’t want to start becoming dependent on Seroquel, yet have felt the need to take it. I do it too much out of fear, though.

Please pray for me. Thank you.

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Comments on The Wisdom of Bill Gates

Posted by imfreenow on September 23, 2008

Gates is responsible for inventing things that make my life easier. He has helped me to organize my writing and do things that were so much harder to do in the past. He is part of the group of geniuses who are responsible for these technological wonders.

He has the right to say: “get off your ass and get going,” but the words “life is not fair-get used to it,” or “the world won’t care about your self-esteem, the world will expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself,” are not very helpful words.

People who suffer from low self-esteem, or who suffer from misfortune, are not ministered to by these words.

If you suffer from low self-esteem, you probably are not going to accomplish anything until you resolve that problem.

Life isn’t fair – get over it, is not the gospel, that’s not what Jesus says.

I agree with him about flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. We ought to be prepared to take any kind of work available to us if we are physically, mentally and emotionally capable of doing that kind of work, if that’s all that’s available to us at the time and we need money.

We need to humble ourselves and start at “the bottom.” Besides, visiting McDonald’s lately, I realize that the people who work there are super professional! Being a burger person, an order taker or a boss there are not to be laughed at. They all do their job efficiently and with dignity.

We ought to think of our work, whatever it is, as an opportunity to help a business to operate – to do work for someone else, which is helping people with some kind of service. We should do our very best, as unto the Lord, and that should mean that we desire to help that business succeed in every way possible.

We should be thankful for living in a great country that provides so many wonderful things for people, and that we can be a part of providing those things – both here and abroad.

Our work should be an opportunity to do something well that no one else can do quite as well as we can, and to be acknowledged for it, and receive financial compensation for it as well.

We shouldn’t complain and blame other people for our failures.

The only problem with our culture is that we don’t have a very nourishing system anymore, as in the old days of having an agrarian society where people lived in small communities where they took care of each other.

Conservatives need to be more open minded in understanding this. Liberals are right in that they see that we have a culture where success by a person serves mostly just themselves, and not so much those around them. If a person makes it – the good life goes to themselves, and many times, they may not share the benefits of their success. Accomplisment brings pride and lures people away from trusting in the Lord. There are exceptions to this.

There are families that support each other more than usual, and there are churches that have funds set aside to come to the aid of families within their community, and things like this. And this is where the help for the poor should come from.

The problem with liberals is that they see the problem and they seek the solution through the government. This is a poor solution. Relying on the government to bring the balance is to rely on man. We should be turning to the church and to families, because that’s how we can be relying upon God. We need to get the government out of the way so that we can have more community support, and then push for more community support. The problem is liberals are not going to trust the church, and many times don’t have strong families to rely upon.

Anyway – back to Bill Gates. He promotes the idea of working hard and proving oneself, and certainly we should do that, but stay in balance.
His last comment about thanking a teacher…I rarely stop to think about the foundation that was laid because of teachers in my life!

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Wisdom From Bill Gates

Posted by imfreenow on September 22, 2008

This is an email my sister from Germany sent me. It starts here, and doesn’t necessarily express my viewpoint:

Love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this! To anyone with kids of any age, here’s some advice.

Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1: Life is not fair – get used to it!

Rule 2: The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now.. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent’s generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they’ll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.

If you can read this – Thank a teacher!

This really hits me between the eyes as I sit in the coffee shop and it says, “in real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.”

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History Will Vindicate This Man

Posted by imfreenow on September 22, 2008

Charles Krauthammer, an awesome columnist from the Washington Post wrote this article on how he believes we will turn around and see President Bush differently, just as we did Truman, that he has kept us safe and has helped the next president to be able to do the same.

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Hardness Of Heart

Posted by imfreenow on September 21, 2008

A Condition You My have And Not Even Know It by Andrew Wommack

This is a site I found on the web through a lady who goes to the small, charismatic church that I used to attend. I find that on the web, it is hard to find sites and people who preach the power of God and an uncompromised message of faith in God. This lady told me about Wommack’s site and I read this writing on hardness of heart. It occurred to me that this is exactly what is creeping into my life as I find myself drifting away from a passion filled relationship with God.

I used to think people with hard hearts were God-haters or, at the least, people in rebellion to Him. That’s what I used to think until the day the Lord told me I had a hard heart.

While on a flight to a meeting, I was reading about the story of Jesus walking to His disciples on the water, recorded in Mark 6:45-52. They were in a terrible storm. After nine hours they were still only halfway across the Sea of Galilee, normally a two-hour trip. They were in trouble and fighting for their lives. Yet here came Jesus walking on top of the very thing that was trying to kill them. He was totally in control.

This impacted me so much that I put my Bible down and just stared out the window. A solid layer of clouds was beneath the plane. In my imagination, I thought about what it would be like to see Jesus walking on the clouds. That’s not any more impossible than Jesus walking on the water! I was just awestruck as I considered this.

I continued reading in Mark 6:51 and saw that the disciples had a similar reaction. The latter part of that scripture says,

“They were sore amazed in themselves beyond measure, and wondered.”

That’s exactly the way I felt. I thought to myself that anyone who really thought about the magnitude of this miracle should feel the same way. They should be shocked and amazed at the miraculous power of God. Then I read the next verse:

“For they considered not the miracle of the loaves: for their heart was hardened” (Mark 6:52).

It was just like someone slapped me in the face. For the first time, I realized that being shocked, amazed, or surprised at a miracle was an indication of a hard heart. WOW! Or another way of saying it is, relating to the natural more than the supernatural is an indication of a hard heart. By that definition, my heart was hard.

This set me on a three-and-a-half-year journey seeking the Lord. I wanted to know what a hard heart really was, what caused it, and how to cure it. This has turned out to be one of the most important things the Lord has ever shown me.

The dictionary defines hardened as cold, insensitive, unfeeling, and unyielding. If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll have to agree that there are certain areas of your life where you have a hard heart toward God.

God made us so that we can harden our hearts and literally shut out unwanted influences. It was meant to be a positive thing, but because we haven’t understood this, what God meant for good has actually worked against us.

One of the best examples of hardheartedness is found in the book of Exodus. Pharaoh refused to let the children of Israel leave the land of Egypt as God had commanded. Fifteen times in Exodus, the Scriptures mention Pharaoh’s heart being hardened. This is the only explanation to Pharaoh’s persistence in resisting God, when it was so evident he was no match for Him. A hardened heart dulls a person’s ability to perceive and understand. It is the equivalent of spiritual retardation.

In Mark 8:17, Jesus spoke to His disciples about the characteristics of a hard heart:

“And when Jesus knew it, he saith unto them, Why reason ye, because ye have no bread? perceive ye not yet, neither understand? have ye your heart yet hardened? Having eyes, see ye not? and having ears, hear ye not? and do ye not remember?” (Mark 8:17-18).

In these verses, Jesus gave us symptoms that are descriptive of a hard heart: (1) unable to perceive, (2) unable to understand, (3) unable to see, (4) unable to hear, and (5) unable to remember. These are all speaking of inabilities in the spiritual realm.

A hard heart is characterized by an inability to perceive spiritually. And when spiritual things are perceived, a hard heart will keep a person from understanding the few things they can perceive. They might see what the Lord is trying to show them, but they can’t get a hold of it in a way that they can apply it to their life.

When people are hardhearted toward God, it’s like they are spiritually blind and deaf—they just can’t see spiritual truth or hear the Lord speak to them. And they can’t remember. Not remembering is a major indication of the condition of their hearts.

People often tell me that they just don’t have the ability to remember Scripture the way I do. They imply that I must have a photographic memory. But these same people can tell me who won the Super Bowl last year or last decade, the Major League batting averages of all the famous baseball players, or the names of all the actors in a movie.

I’ve watched Super Bowl games, but I don’t remember the details. It’s not because my mind doesn’t work; it’s just a matter of the heart. I remember Scripture because that’s where my heart is. I don’t remember sports or entertainment trivia, because my heart isn’t into that. It’s all a matter of the heart.

Here are some of the major things I’ve learned that determine the sensitivity of your heart. First, whatever you consider, your heart becomes softened toward. Conversely, whatever you fail to consider, your heart becomes hardened to. That’s what Mark 6:52 reveals.

Again, that verse says,

“For they considered not the miracle of the loaves: for their heart was hardened.”

The word consider means “to study, ponder, deliberate, examine, or think upon.” The scriptural term that would relate to “consider” would be the word “meditate.” Or we could substitute the word “focus” for “consider.” So the disciples’ hearts were hard, since they didn’t “focus” on the miracle of Jesus feeding the 5,000.

It wasn’t sin that caused the disciples’ hearts to be hard—it was their focus on things other than the miracle Jesus had just performed. They weren’t looking at pornographic magazines nor were in strife or anything; they were occupied with trying to save their lives in the midst of the storm. That wasn’t sin.

If you took me sailing, I would want you to have some carnal knowledge about sailing. If I ride with you in a car, I don’t want you to drive by faith; I want you to have your eyes open and your brain working. That’s not wrong.

But, if we get into a situation where our carnal knowledge and abilities won’t save our lives, I would like you to be able to go beyond the natural and draw on the ability of the supernatural. We can’t be limited to the natural realm.

This is what was wrong with the disciples. They had just witnessed Jesus taking five small loaves of bread and two small fish, and feeding an entire multitude of at least

15,000 people. What an awesome miracle! If they had kept their minds stayed on that miracle, they wouldn’t have been shocked or surprised to see Jesus walking on the water.

And notice that Mark 6:45 makes special mention of the fact that Jesus “constrained” His disciples to get into the boat and go to the other side. That means He had to compel them. They didn’t want to go, but Jesus made them do it. Therefore, they didn’t get into this situation because of some mistake on their part; they were under direct orders from the Master. That means Jesus was responsible for what happened to them.

If they had been thinking spiritually instead of naturally, they would have known that Jesus would take care of them. Instead of being surprised to see Jesus walking on the water, they would have expected it.

Likewise, if we were not so dominated by considering the natural, we would not be surprised by the supernatural. We should expect to see the miraculous power of God manifest in our lives all the time. But the truth is, our hearts have become hardened toward God and His supernatural power because of our failure to stay focused on spiritual things.

One of the benefits of understanding what causes hardheartedness is that you can reverse this process and use it to become hardened against the devil. That is absolutely true. You have the power to determine what your heart accepts or rejects.

In my book and teaching album Hardness of Heart,I go into much more detail. For example, you cannot be tempted with something you cannot think. You won’t act in a way that you haven’t already considered in your mind. So, control your thoughts and you’ll control your actions. That’s simple but profound. Most people don’t operate that way.

This letter has only scratched the surface of these truths that the Lord has shown me about how you can soften your heart toward God. You really need to get the entire teaching to reap the full benefit. It’s important because one of the ways to soften your heart toward God is to just sit and soak in the truth. It’s not enough just to hear truth; you need to absorb it. This teaching will really help you do that.

This teaching has been available since the early eighties. It is one of the most important and practical revelations the Lord has ever shown me. But recently, I taught this on television and have expanded it from a three-part to a four-part series. I encourage you to order this updated teaching for yourself and one to share with another.

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Mall Diva Just Cut My Hair

Posted by imfreenow on September 21, 2008

I will include pictures. Ben, Hammerswing75’s fiance, is Mall Diva. He met her via the MOB (Minnesota Organization Of Bloggers.) Diva’s dad is Nightwriter. Her dad introduced her to Ben once when they got together. I’ve been following Ben’s blog, and Nightwriter’s and when I found out they were getting engaged, I decided to go patronize her cosmetic art to celebrate their engagement and leave her a twenty dollar tip as an engagement gift. Besides, I needed a haircut.

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Survey On Sarah Palin

Posted by imfreenow on September 19, 2008

Go Here to take the survey on whether or not you think she is qualified to be the Vice President. The survey is being put on by PBS.

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Good News For My Readers

Posted by imfreenow on September 19, 2008

The crisis that I had earlier where I was under attack is under control. I thought I was spiraling into another manic episode. I thought the attack was going to cause me to go into mania, but already, the insomnia is subsiding. I went to my doctor and took care of medication.

I’m already on low doses of some medication that I take at night to help me go to sleep. I can feel that the need for the med is not very great and that I’m getting back to normal. Other than that med I’m on hardly anything. Praise God!

I just posted something on prayer, and said that I’m praying for you, but I have to thank those who are praying for me!!! God bless you and I love you!!

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The Importance of Worship

Posted by imfreenow on September 19, 2008

I was led to Psalm 148 today, which is a Psalm that basically calls on everything in the universe to worship and praise God.

It led me into worship and to remember the importance of worship. In worshiping God we are telling Him that we come to Him not just for the things that we would like Him to fix, but that we need Him, that we love Him, that we desire His presence.

Worship brings His presence.

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